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Stupid laws of the world

Stupid laws of the world

No one must start a car while someone is underneath the vehicle

When driving there must be another person in front of the car waving a flag to warn horse drawn carriages that a motor car is approaching

the impersonation of chelsea pensioners is illegal

it is unlawful to be drunk on licensed premises

beds must not be hung out of windows

it is forbidden for a lady to eat chocolates on public transport

it is against the law to eat mince pies on 25th december

any boy under 10 is not allowed to see a naked shop dummy

commiting suicide is classified as a capital crime

in hereford you can shoot a welsh person all day, but only on sundays, with a long bow ,in the cathedral close

in york it is legal to shoot a scotsman with a bow and arrow except on sundays

in york any scotsman caught farting on a sunday can be shot with a bow and arrow

london hackney carriages (taxis) must carry a bale of hay and a sack of oats by law

It is illegal to park or land a flying saucer in any vineyard

if a man is caught kissing a woman in public the death penalty may be enforced

it against the law to be drunk in possesion of a cow

a man may not relieve himself while standing after 10pm

even though it is illegal to produce, store,sell and trade absinthe, it is perfectly legal to drink it

sex with a kangaroo is permissable when drunk

in some states it is against the law to own a certain type of mattress without a mattress licence

In Victoria it is an offence to wear pink hot pants after midday on sundays

also in victoria only licensed electricians ar epermitted to change a light bulb.if this law is broken a $10 fine is charged

it is against the law to save a drowning person, as such an act would interfere with his or her fate

drivers of power driven vehicles who stop at pedestrian crossings may be given a warning and could be fined up to 5 yuan

the penalty for masturbation is decapitation

men are legally allowed to have sex with animals, but the animals must be female.if with male animal it is punishable by death

Male doctors are not allowed to examine women.

women doctors are forbidden

Gays are banned from living in the country

if convicted of dropping litter 3 times, the law breaker has to clean the streets on sundays wearing a sign saying "i am a litterer". this will be filmed and broadcast in the news.

boarding a plane while in flight is illegal

after release form prison, it is required by law than an ex prisioner is provided with a hand gun with bullets and a horse so he can ride out of town

in new brunswick driving on the roads is prohibited

in nova scotia lighting a fart while smoking carries a $100 fine

in ontario the speed limit is 80km/h for cars, but cyclists have the right of way

in alabama it is illegal for a driver to wear a blindfold when operating a vehicle

driving a motor boat on city streets is an offence

its illegal to wear a false moustache that causes inappropriate laughter in church

it is not permissable to flick snot into the wind

PIGEONS are prohibited from eating pebbles from composite roofs

in alaska it is considered a crime to push a live moose out of a moving aeroplane

in arizona donkeys are not allowe to sleep in bath tubs

you may not have more than 2 dildos in the house


the shooting of game from a moving vehicle is an offence, unless the target is a whale

bicycles are not to be ridden in swimming pools

a city ordinance declares that a person must own at least 2 cows before he is allowed to wear cowboy boots

detonating a NUCLEAR device within the city limits of chico results in a $500 fine

in los angeles it is illegal to lick toads

the hunting of moths under street lights is forbidden

in sanfransico people classified as "UGLY" are not permitted to walk down any street

in colorado at a marriage service it is illegal to throw shoes at the bride and groom

also in colorado cats may only run loose if they have been fitted with a tail light

Conducting sexual relations with a porcupine is unlawful

it is considered an offence to shower naked

rubbish bins must not be molested

In idaho it is illegal for a man to give his sweetheart a box of chocs weighing less than 50ibs

in illinois it is an offence to urinate in your neighrbours mouth

it is unlawful to give a dog whisky to drink

men with a moustache may not kiss women

it is punishable by law to make love while hunting or fishing on your wedding day

it is illegal for chicken thieves to work during the daytime

it is against the law to practise knife throwing at men wearing striped suits

a father cannot frighten his daughters boyfriend with a gun

By law, anyone who has been drinking is "sober" until he or she "cannot hold on to the ground"

every person must take a bath at least once a year

there are no state height restrictions, so citizens can grow as tall as they please

it is an offence for a rain puddle to remain on a front lawn for more than twelve hours

passengers are forbidden from stepping out of a plane in flight

its against the law to molest an alligator

there is a law that calls for a legal hunting season on all attorneys

It is a crime to throw bales of hay from a second floor window

lions must not be taken to the cinema


it is illegal to go to bed without having a proper bath first

a woman cannot be on top in sexual activities

an old ordinance delares goatees illegal unless you first pay a special license fee for the priviledge of wearing on inpublic

in boston it is illegal to take a bath unless ordered by a physician

it is legal for a robber to file a lawsuit if they get hurt whilst burgling your house

a farmer is legally allowed to sleep with his pigs, cows, horses, goats and chicken

if a person stands in front of a moving train they are breaking the law and may be jailed

anyone guilty of double parking a car will be put on a chain-gang and fed only bread and water

minors are not allowed to buy cap pistols but can freely buy shotguns

it is a violation of the law to frighten a baby

farting in church carries a mandatory life sentance


a parent can be arrested if their child cannot hold back a burp during a church service

owners of every hotel are required to provide each guest with a clean and pressed nightshirt. no couple, even if they are married, may sleep together in the nude; nor may they have sex unless they are wearing a clean, cotton white nightshirt


you may not tap your feet, nod your head, or in anyway keep time to the musc in a restuarant or cafe

individuals cannot sell the clothes they are wearing to pay of gambling debts

any cattle that crosses state roads must be fitted with a contraption to gather their faeces


it is unlawful to feed whiskey or offer cigarettes to animals at the local zoo

all cats must wear three bells to warn birds of their whereabouts

lovers must avoid satisfying their lustful urges in a parked car. if the horn accidently sounds while they are frolicking the couple can face a jail term

it is illegal to buy ice cream after 6pm unless you have a written note from your doctor


it is forbidden for a woman to appear unshaven in public

a newspaper can be fined if it misspells a persons name inprint


a fine of $25 can be levied for flirting

it is a crime to throw a ball at someones head for fun

the penalty for jumping of a building is death

it is a crime to do anything against the law (no shit sherlock)

arresting a dead man for being in debt is forbidden

a man cannot go outside while wearing a jacket and trousers that dont match

women are not allowed to be on the street wearing "figure hugging clothing"

you may not smile within 100ft of the entrance to a public building

women may go topless in public, providing it is not for business purposes


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© 2008 Paul Kavanagh. All rights reserved.