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Laughter Quotes

It was not a laugh but merely a loud smile.  ~Author Unknown

Seven days without laughter makes one weak.  ~Mort Walker

A laugh is a smile that bursts.  ~Mary H. Waldrip

Laughter is the sun that drives winter from the human face.  ~Victor Hugo

Laughter on one's lips is a sign that the person down deep has a pretty good grasp of life.  ~Hugh Sidey

Laughter is the sensation of feeling good all over and showing it principally in one place.  ~Josh Billings

Carry laughter with you wherever you go.  ~Hugh Sidey

Laughter is a tranquilizer with no side effects.  ~Arnold Glasow

Laughter is an orgasm triggered by the intercourse of sense and nonsense.  ~Author Unknown

We do have a zeal for laughter in most situations, give or take a dentist.  ~Joseph Heller

Perhaps I know best why it is man alone who laughs; he alone suffers so deeply that he had to invent laughter.  ~Friedrich Nietzsche

 

I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose.  ~Woody Allen

At the height of laughter, the universe is flung into a kaleidoscope of new possibilities.  ~Jean Houston

Even if there is nothing to laugh about, laugh on credit.  ~Author Unknown

Mirth is God's medicine.  Everybody ought to bathe in it.  ~Henry Ward Beecher

Dad always thought laughter was the best medicine, which I guess is why several of us died of tuberculosis.  ~Jack Handey, "Deep Thoughts,"
Saturday Night Live

The most wasted of all days is one without laughter.  ~e.e. cummings

Laughter is an instant vacation.  ~Milton Berle

What monstrous absurdities and paradoxes have resisted whole batteries of serious arguments, and then crumbled swiftly into dust before the ringing death-knell of a laugh!  ~Agnes Repplier

So many tangles in life are ultimately hopeless that we have no appropriate sword other than laughter.  ~Gordon W. Allport

Laughter is the shortest distance between two people.  ~Victor Borge

What soap is to the body, laughter is to the soul.  ~Yiddish Proverb

When people are laughing, they're generally not killing each other.  ~Alan Alda

Laughter and tears are both responses to frustration and exhaustion.  I myself prefer to laugh, since there is less cleaning up to do afterward.  ~Kurt Vonnegut

A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the doctor's book.  ~Irish Proverb

Laughter gives us distance.  It allows us to step back from an event, deal with it and then move on.  ~Bob Newhart

A hearty laugh gives one a dry cleaning, while a good cry is a wet wash.  ~Puzant Kevork Thomajan

There can never be enough said of the virtues, dangers, the power of a shared laugh.  ~Françoise Sagan

I've always thought that a big laugh is a really loud noise from the soul saying, "Ain't that the truth."  ~Quincy Jones

Laughter is the corrective force which prevents us from becoming cranks.  ~Henri Bergson

Dogs laugh, but they laugh with their tails.  What puts man in a higher state of evolution is that he has got his laugh on the right end.  ~Max Eastman

A man isn't poor if he can still laugh.  ~Raymond Hitchcock

Maturity is a bitter disappointment for which no remedy exists, unless laughter can be said to remedy anything.  ~Kurt Vonnegut

Remember, men need laughter sometimes more than food.  ~Anna Fellows Johnston

No man who has once heartily and wholly laughed can be altogether irreclaimably bad.  ~Thomas Carlyle, Sartor Resartus
, Book I, chapter 4

You can't deny laughter; when it comes, it plops down in your favorite chair and stays as long as it wants.  ~Stephen King,
Hearts in Atlantis

With the fearful strain that is on me night and day, if I did not laugh I should die.  ~Abraham Lincoln

Whoever said "laughter is the best medicine" never had gonorrhea.  ~Kat Likkel and John Hoberg, My Name Is Earl
, "Robbed a Stoner Blind," original airdate 16 November 2006

A good, real, unrestrained, hearty laugh is a sort of glorified internal massage, performed rapidly and automatically.  It manipulates and revitalizes corners and unexplored crannies of the system that are unresponsive to most other exercise methods.  ~Author unknown, from an editorial in New York Tribune, quoted in Quotations for Special Occasions by Maud van Buren

Man, when you lose your laugh you lose your footing.  ~Ken Kesey



A friendly look, a kindly smile, one good act, and life's worthwhile.  ~Author Unknown

A kind heart is a fountain of gladness, making everything in its vicinity freshen into smiles.  ~Washington Irving

Beauty is power; a smile is its sword.  ~Charles Reade

A smile is the universal welcome.  ~Max Eastman

Keep smiling - it makes people wonder what you've been up to.  ~Author Unknown

You're never fully dressed without a smile.  ~Martin Charnin

A smile can brighten the darkest day.  ~Author Unknown

It takes seventeen muscles to smile and forty-three to frown.  ~Author Unknown

Of all the things you wear, your expression is the most important.  ~Janet Lane

All the statistics in the world can't measure the warmth of a smile.  ~Chris Hart

If you would like to spoil the day for a grouch, give him a smile.  ~Author Unknown

Smile - it increases your face value.  ~Author Unknown

Peace begins with a smile.  ~Mother Teresa

A smile is a powerful weapon; you can even break ice with it.  ~Author Unknown

Most smiles are started by another smile.  ~Author Unknown

A smile is something you can't give away; it always comes back to you.  ~Author Unknown

A smile costs nothing but gives much.  It enriches those who receive without making poorer those who give.  It takes but a moment, but the memory of it sometimes lasts forever.  None is so rich or mighty that he cannot get along without it and none is so poor that he cannot be made rich by it.  Yet a smile cannot be bought, begged, borrowed, or stolen, for it is something that is of no value to anyone until it is given away.  Some people are too tired to give you a smile.  Give them one of yours, as none needs a smile so much as he who has no more to give.  ~Author Unknown

It takes a lot of work from the face to let out a smile, but just think what good smiling can bring to the most important muscle of the body... the heart.  ~Author Unknown

Today, give a stranger one of your smiles.  It might be the only sunshine he sees all day.  ~Quoted in P.S. I Love You, compiled by H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

A smile confuses an approaching frown.  ~Author Unknown
People seldom notice old clothes if you wear a big smile.  ~Lee Mildon

A smile is a curve that sets everything straight.  ~Phyllis Diller

Smile.  Have you ever noticed how easily puppies make human friends?  Yet all they do is wag their tails and fall over.  ~Walter Anderson, The Confidence Course
, 1997

The world always looks brighter from behind a smile.  ~Author Unknown

Start every day with a smile and get it over with.  ~W.C. Fields

Before you put on a frown, make absolutely sure there are no smiles available.  ~Jim Beggs

A smile is an inexpensive way to change your looks.  ~Charles Gordy

Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been.  ~Mark Twain,
Following the Equator

The robbed that smiles, steals something from the thief.  ~William Shakespeare,
Othello

A smile is the light in the window of your face that tells people you're at home.  ~Author Unknown

If you smile when no one else is around, you really mean it.  ~Andy Rooney

If you smile at someone, they might smile back.  ~Author Unknown

Always remember to be happy because you never know who's falling in love with your smile.  ~Author Unknown

Everyone smiles in the same language.  ~Author Unknown

If you don't have a smile, I'll give you one of mine.  ~Author Unknown

I've never seen a smiling face that was not beautiful.  ~Author Unknown

Wear a smile and have friends; wear a scowl and have wrinkles.  ~George Eliot

She gave me a smile I could feel in my hip pocket.  ~Raymond Chandler

Smiling is infectious,
You can catch it like the flu.
Someone smiled at me today,
And I started smiling too.
~Author Unknown

A smile appeared upon her face as if she'd taken it directly from her handbag and pinned it there.  ~Loma Chandler

A laugh is a smile that bursts.  ~Mary H. Waldrip

Smile - sunshine is good for your teeth.  ~Author Unknown

The shortest distance between two people is a smile.  ~Author Unknown

If you don't start out the day with a smile, it's not too late to start practicing for tomorrow.  ~Author Unknown

Smiling is my favorite exercise.  ~Author Unknown

Wear a smile - one size fits all.  ~Author Unknown

No matter how grouchy you're feeling,
You'll find the smile more or less healing.
It grows in a wreath
All around the front teeth -
Thus preserving the face from congealing.
~Anthony Euwer

Every day you spend without a smile, is a lost day.  ~Author Unknown

Everytime you smile at someone, it is an action of love, a gift to that person, a beautiful thing.  ~Mother Teresa


Humor is a reminder that no matter how high the throne one sits on, one sits on one's bottom.  ~Taki


Humor is perhaps a sense of intellectual perspective:  an awareness that some things are really important, others not; and that the two kinds are most oddly jumbled in everyday affairs.  ~Christopher Morley


Humor is merely tragedy standing on its head with its pants torn.  ~Irvin S. Cobb


Imagination was given to man to compensate him for what he is not; a sense of humor to console him for what he is.  ~Francis Bacon


Humor results when society says you can't scratch certain things in public, but they itch in public.  ~Tom Walsh


Humor has a way of bringing people together.  It unites people.  In fact, I'm rather serious when I suggest that someone should plant a few whoopee cushions in the United Nations.  ~Ron Dentinger


Every survival kit should include a sense of humor.  ~Author Unknown


Humor is the great thing, the saving thing.  The minute it crops up, all our irritation and resentments slip away, and a sunny spirit takes their place.  ~Mark Twain


Humor is emotional chaos remembered in tranquillity.  ~James Thurber


Common sense and a sense of humor are the same thing, moving at different speeds.  A sense of humor is just common sense, dancing.  ~William James


After God created the world, He made man and woman.  Then, to keep the whole thing from collapsing, He invented humor.  ~Bill Kelly, "Mordillo"


If I had no sense of humor, I would long ago have committed suicide.  ~Mahatma Gandhi


The satirist shoots to kill while the humorist brings his prey back alive and eventually releases him again for another chance.  ~Peter De Vries


Humor is just another defense against the universe.  ~Mel Brooks


Humor is reason gone mad.  ~Groucho Marx


A sense of humor is a major defense against minor troubles.  ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook
, 1966


Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious.  ~Peter Ustinov


Comedy has to be based on truth.  You take the truth and you put a little curlicue at the end.  ~Sid Caesar


Warning:  Humor may be hazardous to your illness.  ~Ellie Katz


Nothing is more curious than the almost savage hostility that humor excites in those who lack it.  ~George Saintsbury


Humor is... despair refusing to take itself seriously.  ~Arland Ussher


Humor is a rubber sword - it allows you to make a point without drawing blood.  ~Mary Hirsch


The kind of humor I like is the thing that makes me laugh for five seconds and think for ten minutes.  ~William Davis


Many a true word is spoken in jest.  ~English Proverb


I think the next best thing to solving a problem is finding some humor in it.  ~Frank A. Clark


Above all else: go out with a sense of humor.  It is needed armor.  Joy in one's heart and some laughter on one's lips is a sign that the person down deep has a pretty good grasp of life.  ~Hugh Sidey


There is no defense against adverse fortune which is so effectual as an habitual sense of humor.  ~Thomas W. Higginson


Let your humour always be good-humour, in the double sense of the phrase:  if it comes from a bad humour, it is almost sure to be bad humour.  ~Augustus William Hare and Julius Charles Hare, Guesses at Truth, by Two Brothers
, 1827


Humor prevents one from becoming a tragic figure even though he/she is involved in tragic events.  ~E.T. "Cy" Eberhart


Humor is the instinct for taking pain playfully.  ~Max Eastman


A person without a sense of humor is like a wagon without springs - jolted by every pebble in the road.  ~Henry Ward Beecher


There is more logic in humor than in anything else.  Because, you see, humor is truth.  ~Victor Borge, London Times
, 3 January 1984


Someone once defined humor as a way to keep from killing yourself.  I keep my sense of humor and I stay alive.  ~Abe Burrows


Humor is an affirmation of dignity, a declaration of man's superiority to all that befalls him.  ~Roman Gary


Humor is, I think, the subtlest and chanciest of literary forms.  It is surely not accidental that there are a thousand novelists, essayists, poets or journalists for each humorist.  It is a long, long time between James Thurbers.  ~Leo Rosten

A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.  ~Fred Allen


Say what you will about the Ten Commandments, you must always come back to the pleasant fact that there are only ten of them.  ~H.L. Mencken


A compromise is an agreement whereby both parties get what neither of them wanted.  ~Author Unknown


A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.  ~Attributed to Arthur McBride Bloch


A gentleman is a man who can play the accordion but doesn't.  ~Author Unknown


If all else fails, immortality can always be assured by spectacular error.  ~John Kenneth Galbraith,
Money: Whence It Came, Where It Went


Don't worry about the world coming to an end today.  It is already tomorrow in Australia.  ~Charles Schulz


All generalizations are bad.  ~R.H. Grenier


All my life, I always wanted to be somebody.  Now I see that I should have been more specific.  ~Jane Wagner, The Search For Intelligent Life In The Universe
, performed by Lily Tomlin


The large print giveth, but the small print taketh away.  ~Tom Waits,
Small Change


Eagles may soar in the clouds, but weasels never get sucked into jet engines.  ~Attributed to both Jason Hutchison and John Benfield


After all, what is your host's purpose in having a party?  Surely not for you to enjoy yourself; if that were their sole purpose, they'd have simply sent champagne and women over to your place by taxi.  ~P.J. O'Rourke


How come there's only one Monopolies Commission?  ~Nigel Rees


I have six locks on my door all in a row.  When I go out, I lock every other one.  I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three.  ~Elayne Boosler


Anybody can win, unless there happens to be a second entry.  ~George Ade


An expert is a man who tells you a simple thing in a confused way in such a fashion as to make you think the confusion is your own fault.  ~William Castle


If The Phone Doesn't Ring, It's Me.  ~Song title by Jimmy Buffet


Man was predestined to have free will.  ~Hal Lee Luyah


Maybe this world is another planet's hell.  ~Aldous Huxley


Murphy was an optimist.  ~O'Toole's Commentary


The only thing that stops God from sending another flood is that the first one was useless.  ~Nicholas Chamfort


The remarkable thing about Shakespeare is that he really is very good, in spite of all the people who say he is very good.  ~Robert Graves


The ships hung in the sky in much the same way that bricks don't.  ~Douglas Adams


The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us.  ~Bill Watterson,
Calvin and Hobbes


Today is the last day of some of your life.  ~Author Unknown


Without geography, you're nowhere.  ~Author Unknown


It's always darkest before the dawn.  So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.  ~Author Unknown


You can't have everything... where would you put it?  ~Steven Wright

 

He's turned his life around.  He used to be depressed and miserable.  Now he's miserable and depressed.  ~Harry Kalas, on Garry Maddox, 1981


He who believes that the past cannot be changed has not yet written his memoirs.  ~Torvald Gahlin


I plan on living forever.  So far, so good.  ~Author Unknown


Ability is what will get you to the top if the boss has no daughter.  ~Author Unknown


Love your enemies.  It makes them so damned mad.  ~P.D. East


There's no such thing as fun for the whole family.  ~Jerry Seinfeld


The universe is merely a fleeting idea in God's mind - a pretty uncomfortable thought, particularly if you've just made a down payment on a house.  ~Woody Allen


My doctor says that I have a malformed public-duty gland and a natural deficiency in moral fiber, and that I am therefore excused from saving Universes.  ~Douglas Adams


And on the eighth day God said, "Okay, Murphy, you're in charge!"  ~Author Unknown


May those who love us love us,
and those who do not love us,
may God turn their hearts,
and if He cannot turn their hearts
may He turn their ankles
that we may know them by their limping.
~Irish Prayer


Oh what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to weave.  ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook
, 1960


When somebody tells you nothing is impossible, ask him to dribble a football.  ~Author Unknown


The chicken came first - God would look silly sitting on an egg.  ~Author Unknown


The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.  ~Author Unknown


A great name for a new country song:  If I'd Shot You Sooner, I'd Be Out of Jail by Now.  ~Author Unknown


Lead me not into temptation; I can find the way myself.  ~Rita Mae Brown


A prisoner of war is a man who tries to kill you and fails, and then asks you not to kill him.  ~Sir Winston Churchill


Just remember, if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.  ~Author Unknown


Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes.  That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile way and you have their shoes.  ~Author Unknown


How do the angels get to sleep when the devil leaves the porch light on?  ~Tom Waits, "Mr Siegal,"
Heartattack and Vine


Duct tape is like the force.  It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the universe together.  ~Carl Zwanzig


A signature always reveals a man's character - and sometimes even his name.  ~Evan Esar


Home is heaven and orgies are vile,
But I like an orgy, once in a while.
~Ogden Nash,
Home, 99 44/100% Sweet Home


Can we actually "know" the universe?  My God, it's hard enough finding your way around in Chinatown.  ~Woody Allen, Getting Even
, 1971


A scout troop consists of twelve little kids dressed like schmucks following a big schmuck dressed like a kid.  ~Jack Benny


I learned law so well, the day I graduated I sued the college, won the case, and got my tuition back.  ~Fred Allen


Resolve is never stronger than in the morning after the night it was never weaker.  ~From the movie
Naked


Just because you're not paranoid doesn't mean they're not out to get you.  ~Colin Sautar


Who says nothing is impossible.  I've been doing nothing for years.  ~Author Unknown


You know why the French don't want to bomb Saddam Hussein?  Because he hates America, he loves mistresses, and he wears a beret.  He is French, people.  ~Conan O'Brien, 2003


I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes.  ~Author Unknown


She's the kind of girl who climbed the ladder of success wrong by wrong.  ~Mae West


If you cannot answer a man's argument, all it not lost; you can still call him vile names.  ~Elbert Hubbard


If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?  ~Author Unknown


She was what we used to call a suicide blond - dyed by her own hand.  ~Saul Bellow


It used to take me all vacation to grow a new hide in place of the one they flogged off me during school term.  ~Mark Twain


Protect me from knowing what I don't need to know.  Protect me from even knowing that there are things to know that I don't know.  Protect me from knowing that I decided not to know about the things that I decided not to know about.  Amen.  ~Douglas Adams,
Mostly Harmless


Lord, lord, lord.  Protect me from the consequences of the above prayer.  ~Douglas Adams, Mostly Harmless


 

 

 

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