And in the end it is not the years in your life that counts, it is the life in your years
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Growing Old

At this moment in my life I am possible only at half time, it is possible I could live another 40 years, but what does those years hold for me. I have been very lucky, I have lived a life most could only dream of. Highs, lows, great times and bad, but I know if I went today I would have lived a full life. Regrets I have a few, but then again very few to mention, and if I have learned anything thus far in my life it is that you cannot change the past, only the future, so those things I wish I had not done can only ever be wishes , and wishes that cannot come true.
However the future for Paul Kavanagh is something I think about a lot. For however long I am here, I know I will have to find some new adventure, a new challenge, more exploration. I know it will be a very different time in my life for a number of reasons. I am not saying I am past it, but I am certainly past something’s and I know this, and am glad of it. I know also as I travel through life I have picked up baggage, and I know how much of that I carry with me.

While I dearly love my work, I know I cannot live from what it gives me, emotionally my work will never be enough, so I am now in my mind seeking that new horizon, that goal that opens my mind and challenges me. The building of this site is possible a start of that, I have built another site that was really growing up into something quite substantial, but then lost it when my hotel was bought, I miss the site and the fun it gave me, but the “My London” section of this site is a copy of TILT.
I guess as I write this I wonder why it is that I seem to need other things in my life. And maybe deep down I do know the answer, just not willing to say it out loud. What I can say is that it is in some ways my version of work/life balance, it is also a way of providing reflection. What is it they say, “you can’t move forward without knowing from where you came”, and certainly as I start to look forward for the first time in quite a while it has come from a period of looking back.

I know it is unlikely that I will travel as much as the past, I know also that football (playing) is also confined to memory, it is very possible I will now never return to Ireland, so these fundamental elements of my life are now closed off. But I also know that the world is in fact a very big place, and what the world has to offer is also quite a lot, so although I do not know just yet what my next incarnation will be, I know there is something, and now just have to find it. Watch this space.....

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