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English Written Signs

In the office of a Roman doctor:

Specialist in women and other diseases.


In a Tokyo shop:

Our nylons cost more than common, but you'll find they are best in the long run.


In a Budapest zoo:

Please do not feed the animals.  If you have any suitable food, give it to the guard on duty.


In a Copenhagen airline ticket office: 

We take your bags and send them in all directions.


In a Bangkok temple:

It is forbidden to enter a woman even a foreigner if dressed as a man.


In an advertisement by a Hong Kong dentist:

Teeth extracted by the latest Methodists.


In a Rome laundry:

Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good time.


In a Czechoslovakian tourist agency:

Take one of our horse-driven city tours - we guarantee no miscarriages.


Advertisement for donkey rides in Thailand:

Would you like to ride on your own ass?


Outside a Hong Kong tailor shop:

Ladies may have a fit upstairs.


In a Bangkok dry cleaner's:

Drop your trousers here for best results.


Outside a Paris dress shop:

Dresses for street walking.


In a Rhodes tailor shop:

Order your summers suit.  Because is big rush we will execute customers in strict rotation.


A sign posted in Germany's Black forest:

It is strictly forbidden on our black forest camping site that people of different sex, for instance, men and women, live together in one tent unless they are married with each other for that purpose. 

From a brochure of a car rental firm in Tokyo:

When passenger of foot heave in sight, tootle the horn. Trumpet him melodiously at first, but if he still obstacles your passage then tootle him with vigor.

Two signs from a Majorcan shop entrance:

-   English well talking.

-   Here speeching American.


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